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I’ve noticed a significant drop off in the number of posts and replies since a day or so after the last Daily Dose Day. Knowing that you all are rather worn out from all of that downloading, I thought I’d do something to spice it up in here. I have a very simple request for each of you out there. Spend a few hours thinking of the most peculiar thing that you have seen in the past week or so, and give us a stream-of-consciousness style account of it, complete with what you thought was odd about it, and what sort of smart-aleck comments you might have made had you the presence of mind or lack of social grace to do so. Then, we’ll all read your post, and descend upon the moment like a pack of lions going after the zebra in the grasslands who has injured one of his hind legs. Sound fun? Remember… the goofier, the better. Otherwise, I may have to go back to reciting books that I have checked out from the library (without citation of author or title, so that you can all guess what the heck I’m babbling about).
Good luck… heh heh heh heh
– Rich
“The deer woman in a silk dress, girls with beads around their necks. kiss the hunter of the green vest, who has wrestled before with lions in the night.” – J. Morrison
Well, I have the tables in my classroom numbered 1-4. I had a kindergarten student ask if I was going to line up the students in “numberbetical order”. This is also the same student who made a President’s Day card for anybody running for president. It said, “Cogrtulshuns, u r a prsdent”. He told me that when I saw someone running for president, I should give it to them. So………when Bill Clinton came to Elon University to campaign for Hilary, I gave it to him. Hope it helps.
I know this isn’t exactly what you were looking for, but it gave me a chance to show off one of my students (tee hee).
I’m not sure how odd these stories are; maybe they could be filed under the heading: Aren’t People Funny?
1. My husband John and I run a small vending business. For various boring reasons, we had to rearrange some of the products in the machines. While re-stocking one of the soda machines, a customer approached John and commented, “I really like the discount you all are having on ___”
John: “What discount?”
Customer: “Oh, nothing.”After checking the machine it was discovered that due to the re-arranging (and human error), we had inadvertently been selling one particular soda at almost a 50% “discount.” 😳 Did the customer think we wouldn’t check the item if they simply assured us nothing was amiss? We were astounded at this example of the negative side of human nature and chastened by our mistake.
2. We recently moved into a new apartment. The front door key wasn’t working properly, so we called to report the problem. When the technician came to repair the lock, we explained, “If you slide the key all the way into the lock, it doesn’t work; if you partially slide the key into the lock, it works.” The technician asked, “Why would you want to slide the key all the way into the lock?” I was so astonished, I was rendered speechless. Ever since then, I’ve been trying to remember some of Mad magazine’s “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions,” but to no avail. Does anyone have a comeback I should have used?
I repeat, aren’t people funny?
Jackie
nicos1331 wrote:[list:5c794]Jackie wrote:” . . .Does anyone have a comeback I should have used?The best comeback is living well and being secure in the knowledge that you are not as ignorant and intellectually barren as that technician.
[/list:u:5c794]OK, he gave the correct answer. However, herer are some incorrect ones you could have used:
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1. Oh, wait a minute… wait a minute… I know this… Damn! I forgot the punch line.
2. I thought that putting the key all the way into the lock would help me get by butt all the way in the door.
3. You were home-schooled, right?
4. I’m so glad you’re not charging me for this.
5.(using Yosemite Sam voice) Well, land sakes alive! I darn-tootin’ shoulda thought of that’n! Yer a clever varmint, cha know?
6. Finally! A locksmith who is willing to meet me halfway on something.
7. Why? Would putting the key in all the way cause the 5 pounds of C4 rigged to the door to go “boom“?
8. Do you have a problem with the lock? Maybe, just maybe, you need some Stacked Mary Possum! Check it out! Listen to it! Now…..don’t you feel a whole lot better? I’m sure there are plenty more smart-alecky answers
– Rich
nicos1331 wrote:The best comeback is living well and being secure in the knowledge that you are not as ignorant and intellectually barren as that technician.Thanks,Nicos. I gratefully accept your fine compliment and will do my best to live up to it.
Jackie
rdiakun wrote:OK, he gave the correct answer. However, herer are some incorrect ones you could have used:Thanks,Rich! I really needed a good laugh today and your comebacks went above and beyond my expectations.
Of course,that last retort is my favorite! Jackie
For our next exercise in pointless posting (or is that postage?), please feel free to finish the following song lyric however you choose (i.e. fill in the blank!):
“Although it’s been said, many times, many ways, ___________________”
– Rich
rdiakun wrote:Although it’s been said, many times, many ways, ___________________”I’m a Bruuuce.com fan.
I’m a Bruuuce.com fan.
I’m a Bruuuce.com fan.rdiakun wrote:“Although it’s been said, many times, many ways, ___________________”Hare Krishna to you.
(Please keep the virtual rotten-tomato throwing to a minimum;I just had new carpet installed…)
Jackie
I foolishly wrote:For our next exercise in pointless posting (or is that postage?), please feel free to finish the following song lyric however you choose (i.e. fill in the blank!):“Although it’s been said, many times, many ways, ___________________”
Could I interest you in a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?
– Moi
Maybe, just maybe, you need some Stacked Mary Possum! - The forum ‘Off-topic’ is closed to new topics and replies.